Tina's Eulogy for Our Owd Queen.
‘’Well, what a week eh’’!! She’d be saying right now. ‘’The worlds gone Rudy mad’’!!!
I know she’ll be smiling down on us all, so proud of us for making it here today. She’ll be feeling the love, but I also know she’d be saying ‘’ You didn’t need to come on my account’’ That wasn’t because she didn’t care if you turned up to wave her off. It was because she was always so humble, never felt she deserved fussing over and was always putting everyone elses needs before her own.
That was OUR Mum's only flaw…….. And unfortunatley for my long suffering husband, I have inherited the same traite.
But, I hold that triate close to my heart, I am proud I have it, because I know that my Mum will still live on in me.
Although I know you all know too well how our mum doted on her family. She rarely told us personally how proud she was, however, she would tell everyone else constantly.
I was speaking to our Auntie Jacqueline the other day and she told me - her kids were her life!
She said my Grandma Melia would say ‘’ you’d think she was the only one with kids, it’s John did this, Tina’s doing that, our David can do this, our Paul so clever’’
She devoted her whole life for us kids and for most of it she did it single handedly. When our Dad passed away she was only 42 years old. With 4 kids to support, she put her own grief and needs to one side and just got on with it. I never felt we went without. She always found away to make our homelife complete, loving and safe. She always worked, most times she worked more than one job at any one time. Barmaid, cleaner, park cakes, machinest making handbags. But we always came home to a homecooked meal, clean clothes and time spent for cuddles. I seriuosly don’t know how she did it - I struggle and I only have two kids…….oops sorry, one child and a husband!!!
Personally, I am so greatful for all she did for me, and I have tried to pay her back over the years by trying to be there for her and looking after her the best I could - especially over the last few weeks of her life. Even then she was apologising to Me , John Livesey & John for having to help her with basic care. She was a very proud woman and wasn’t happy that the tables were turned.
Here are My memories of why I am a proud daughter ………..When our Dad died she couldn’t afford for me to carry on with my numerous dancing and drama classes, but after speaking to my teacher she struck a deal with her just so I could keep it up - she would pay what she could every saturday, whether it was a £5 note left from food shopping - I remember seeing a statement once, it was hundreds of pounds owing, but you could see all the payments every week that she tried to make a dent on the debt. Also, she agreed that she would be the main person to make costumes for all the annual dance shows we did. She would spend many weeks measuring pupils, designing costumes, cutting out from newspaper templates she’d made, pinning and sewing indivual costumes for students. I spent many an evening, stood on a dining chair as still as I could be, acting as her clothes dummy……...no comment please Michael, I know you’re itching!!! teenage bridesmaid dresses
But, I never moaned or complained, I loved it in fact, I was so proud of her for her commitment. She never moaned about it, she never lost her patience, she just smiled and got on with the task - I never asked, but I’m adement it was because she knew how much my dancing meant to me and wanted me to carry on with my lessons, so needs must as they say.
She didn’t ever want me to feel I couldn’t have the latest fashionable outfit either. Whenever I saw an outfit in town that I liked, she would stand there scrutinising it, then after 5 minutes she would say ‘’I can make that for about 50p - come one, let’s go to the material stall and choose a colour’’ And true to her word I would have a one off piece that everyone was envious of.
She was a very talented lady, she made her own wedding dress and bridesmaid dresses too.
I have got to say, I love listening to Amelia’s memories of her Nanna, as so many of her stories are like mirrored memories I have of her too. She has never changed in all those years. The trips to Ashton, on the bus, the many treats from the market. I love that!
Her Grandkids weren’t her grandkids, she saw them all as extra Sons and Daughters, her love for them was as strong as it was for her own. She did many babysitting duties when they were young, and as they all grew up she left them to just be teenagers, then adults. I am so greatfull that she has shared some of Amelia’s life with me, even though I wish it would have been for longer. They loved each other dearly!
Speaking of treating her Grandkids like her own kids. Our Anthony knows only too well how true this is. From Anthony being only a few months old mum stepped in, took him home and looked after him whilst his mum was ill. She then continued to support them, caring for Anthony for his younger years. I thought he was a boomin pain - he was always at our house, I would come home from school at 13/14 years old…..and he’d be there, pestering me, but Mum would always tell me off even if he was being a little sh………. sod!!
Anthony lived with mum as a teenager too - He was a bit of a handful, but Mum would be the only one who would put up with his ‘antics’ She was so hard on him most of the time and he would hate it and rebel, but she would never let him get away with anything and would nag him to come home and ban him from hanging about with the rough ones on the estate, but she always meant well, she loved him so much, she would never give up. She didn;t care if he thought she was being too hard, she did it out of love, and now, I know, and I’m sure Anthony knows, she is very proud of where he is in lfe right now. Her hard work has paid off once again.
Mum’s house was always ready for someone to come and make it their home for however long you needed it. She’d cook your tea, she’d make your butties for work and clean your clothes and no questions would be asked. It was just ….. her kids were home for however long they needed, back in her nest to feel safe and then fly off when you had strength in your wings to face the world again. That was why she stayed in that 3 bed house until the end, even when I was trying to persuade her to downsize to somewhere a little more managable - she wasn’t for moving in case she was needed.
Don’t get me wrong, she’d moan about you leaving a mess or not turning up for your tea, but she loved nothing more than her house being full of her kids.
I could stand here all day telling you about our mum, but, they charge by the hour here and mum would be going nutty at the cost!!!. But I know you don’t need to hear all those stories, because you will all have your own warm memories, I just wanted you all to know that all those of you who have recently been sending me messages telling how amaziing our mum was are all true, she was AMAZING!
As our mum, she was sometimes a pain, but eh!.........let’s be honest….all mums are …………………...isn’t that right Amelia!???????
But, when I look at this Lady, and not as a mum, she was an amazing, very strong and independent, hardworking, loving, selfless human being. Who has left a lot of love on this planet.
And I know with all my heart, that she will be treated like a queen in the next world. You deserve it Mum, you have sacrificed your whole adult life for us- and we are so proud of you.
Just one more thing - Mum, the greatest lesson you have taught me is that loving and caring for others fills your heart with much more than anything money can ever buy. And if I can be half the woman you are, I will be very proud to be known as your daughter.
Here is a song that always reminds me of our mum. It sums up what being a mum is.
Night God Bless!!